18 Bible verses about relationships for dealing with the people around you
Written by Maria Luisa Navarro Schmitt · Reviewed by Raphael Navarro Schmitt ·
Short answer
The Bible treats relationships as something that needs maintenance. Romans 12:18 admits that peace is not always up to you, Matthew 18:15 says to speak directly to the person who wronged you instead of about them, and James 1:19 puts listening ahead of speaking. The verses below follow that practical line.
Most of the conflicts the Bible describes do not happen between enemies. They happen between brothers, business partners, disciples, people who live in each other’s way. Jacob and Esau, Martha and Mary, Paul and Barnabas: nearly always someone close, someone you cannot simply avoid.
Which is why the instructions are so unpoetic. Talk to the person, not about them. Listen before you answer. Look at who you spend your time with. Mind your tone, because tone decides half of any conversation. None of it fixes everything, and Scripture concedes the limit itself: peace is asked of you only within your own reach.
The verses below come in three movements — what to do when there is friction, how to speak, and who is worth walking with.
All 18 verses, one by one
If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.
The verse carries a qualifier, and the qualifier is the whole point: peace is asked of you only as far as your own reach goes. The Bible does not order you to achieve peace with everybody, it orders you not to be the obstacle.
Read the chapterBut if your brother has sinned against you, go and correct him, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you will have regained your brother.
The instruction is to go straight there, alone, before any audience exists. It is the exact opposite of what most people do, which is to tell a third party first, to check whether the grievance holds up.
Read the chapterYou know this, my most beloved brothers. So let every man be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to anger.
Three verbs in a deliberate order. Notice that slowness is asked for only in speaking and in anger: when it comes to listening, hurry is welcome.
Read the chapterA mild response shatters anger. But a harsh word stirs up fury.
The proverb does not say the mild answer is right and the harsh one wrong. It says what each of them produces in the other person. This is an observation about effect, and anyone can test it today.
Read the chapterA peaceful tongue is a tree of life. But that which is immoderate will crush the spirit.
A tongue at peace is called a tree of life; the immoderate one crushes the spirit. Notice where the damage lands: not on the argument, on the person. People who talk this way almost always believe they are simply being honest, and honesty without care is just injury.
Read the chapterLet no evil words proceed from your mouth, but only what is good, toward the edification of faith, so as to bestow grace upon those who listen.
The test proposed is not "is it true?" but "does it build up the person hearing it?". That rules out a great deal of technically correct commentary that should never have been made.
Read the chapter31Let all bitterness and anger and indignation and outcry and blasphemy be taken away from you, along with all malice.
32And be kind and merciful to one another, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you in Christ.
The list of things to be taken away starts at bitterness and ends at malice — an escalation. Bitterness is the first step, and it is the one nobody notices themselves taking.
Read the chapterSupport one another, and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive one another. For just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also must you do.
Supporting one another and forgiving appear side by side because they are not the same thing. Some people put up with someone for years without forgiving anything — and the bill arrives whole, all at once.
Read the chapterAnd, brothers, if a man has been overtaken by any offense, you who are spiritual should instruct someone like this with a spirit of leniency, considering that you yourselves might also be tempted.
The instruction comes with a warning built into it: consider that you might be tempted too. Whoever points out another person’s offence rarely stops to think that they are standing on the same slippery ground.
Read the chapterWhoever conceals an offense seeks friendships. Whoever repeats the words of another separates allies.
What drives allies apart is not the offence: it is repeating it. Plenty of relationships do not die of the mistake, they die of the twentieth time it was brought back up.
Read the chapter1Where do wars and contentions among you come from? Is it not from this: from your own desires, which battle within your members?
2You desire, and you do not have. You envy and you kill, and you are unable to obtain. You argue and you fight, and you do not have, because you do not ask.
James moves the origin of the fight inside the person fighting. It is uncomfortable and it is useful: before arguing again, it is worth asking what exactly you wanted and did not get.
Read the chapter3Let nothing be done by contention, nor in vain glory. Instead, in humility, let each of you esteem others to be better than himself.
4Let each of you not consider anything to be your own, but rather to belong to others.
Notice that he does not order you to despise yourself. He orders you to esteem the other person higher — a decision about where your attention goes, not a verdict on your own worth.
Read the chapterBe of the same mind toward one another: not savoring what is exalted, but consenting in humility. Do not choose to seem wise to yourself.
A verse about status: the instruction is not to savour what is exalted. And it closes with the line that spoils most arguments before they begin — the warning against setting out to look wise in your own eyes.
Read the chapterTherefore, all things whatsoever that you wish that men would do to you, do so also to them. For this is the law and the prophets.
The golden rule is phrased positively: do, not merely avoid. The negative version — do not do what you would not want done to you — is easier, and it fits comfortably inside doing nothing at all.
Read the chapterWhoever keeps step with the wise shall be wise. A friend of the foolish will become like them.
The proverb is about contagion, not judgement. Nobody decides to become like the people they keep step with; it simply happens, and it takes years.
Read the chapterDo not be led astray. Evil communication corrupts good morals.
Paul is quoting a Greek saying that was popular at the time, not a prophecy. He borrows common sense from outside the Bible because, on this particular point, common sense had already got it right.
Read the chapterIn the manner of faces looking into shining water, so are the hearts of men made manifest to the prudent.
In this translation the proverb is about reading people rather than knowing yourself: hearts show themselves to the prudent the way a face shows itself in still water. Most of the damage inside a relationship begins with somebody being read wrong.
Read the chapter9Therefore, it is better for two to be together, than for one to be alone. For they have the advantage of their companionship.
10If one falls, he shall be supported by the other. Woe to one who is alone. For when he falls, he has no one to lift him up.
The argument is not romantic, it is about survival: when you fall, someone lifts you. The next line, about the person who is alone, is the part usually cut from the quotation.
Read the chapter
Frequently asked questions
What does the Bible say about difficult relationships?
It admits the limit. Romans 12:18 asks for peace only within what is actually in your power, which concedes that the other person may not cooperate. Matthew 18:15 tells you to talk directly to whoever wronged you, and Galatians 6:1 asks you to watch your own pride while you correct.
How do I resolve a conflict according to the Bible?
The sequence is clear: talk to the person before talking about them (Matthew 18:15), listen more than you answer (James 1:19) and mind your tone, because Proverbs 15:1 has the mild reply breaking anger apart and the harsh one feeding it. Once it is settled, Proverbs 17:9 asks that it not be reopened.
Does the Bible say to walk away from toxic people?
It speaks of contagion, not of discarding people. Proverbs 13:20 notes that keeping step with wise people makes a person wise, 1 Corinthians 15:33 quotes a saying about bad company, and Proverbs 22:24-25 advises against walking with an angry man so that you do not learn his ways. The criterion is influence, not the person’s worth.
Do I have to forgive in order to keep the relationship?
Colossians 3:13 treats supporting one another and forgiving as distinct things, which suggests you can forgive without keeping the same closeness. Forgiveness closes the debt; restoring the day-to-day depends on the other person as well, and on what has actually changed.
A prayer to take with you
Lord, you know the conversation I have been avoiding. Give me the courage to speak to the right person instead of speaking about them, and take from me the urge to win the argument. Let me come out of it with the relationship intact rather than with the last word. Amen.