17 Bible verses about friendship to know who stays
Written by Raphael Navarro Schmitt · Reviewed by Maria Luisa Navarro Schmitt ·
Short answer
The Bible measures friendship by constancy and by honesty. Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times, Proverbs 27:6 calls the wounds of a friend better than the kisses of an enemy, and John 15:15 shows Jesus trading the word servants for friends. The verses below cover both sides.
The Bible says little about friendship in theory and a great deal about it in practice. Most of the lines are in Proverbs, and they are dry observations: gossip drives allies apart, spend time with an angry man and you pick up his temper, wear out your welcome and your neighbour starts to resent you.
The two stories that carry the theme, though, are not maxims. Jonathan was the king’s son and lost the throne to his friend; even so, he went out to David’s hiding place in the woods to strengthen him. And Job’s friends, so criticised for what they said later, got the first week exactly right: they sat on the ground with him and said nothing for seven days.
The list moves from what a friendship is, through what destroys it, to what it costs.
All 17 verses, one by one
Whoever is a friend loves at all times. And a brother is proved by distress.
At all times is the phrase that separates friendship from mere company. The test is not the party: it is the bad month, when nobody has anything pleasant left to offer.
Read the chapterA man amiable to society shall be more friendly than a brother.
The proverb weighs the friend you chose against the brother you did not, and the chosen one comes out ahead. Proverbs keeps doing this — measuring friendship against blood and declining to assume blood wins.
Read the chapterThe wounds of a loved one are better than the deceitful kisses of a hateful one.
The word chosen is wounds — not advice, not observations. A real friend hurts you sometimes, and the proverb prefers that to the kisses of somebody who does not wish you well.
Read the chapterOintment and various perfumes delight the heart. And the good advice of a friend is sweet to the soul.
The comparison is with ointment and perfume, things you feel before you understand them. Honest advice from a friend works the same way: it eases something before it has solved anything.
Read the chapterIron sharpens iron, and a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
The full image involves friction and sparks — two blades do not sharpen each other at a distance. A friendship that has never produced one uncomfortable conversation has probably not sharpened anybody.
Read the chapterWhen the wood fails, the fire will be extinguished. And when the gossiper is taken away, conflicts will be quelled.
The proverb treats the gossip as fuel: take the wood away and the fire goes out, take the gossip away and the quarrel dies with it. Which suggests the argument that keeps coming back may not be about what you think it is about.
Read the chapterWhoever walks dishonestly reveals secrets. But whoever is of a faithful soul conceals what is confided by a friend.
The proverb defines trust operationally: the person who keeps what a friend confided. It is the only test of a friendship you can apply without waiting for a crisis.
Read the chapter24Do not be willing to be a friend to an angry man, and do not walk with a furious man,
25lest perhaps you learn his ways, and take up a stumbling block to your soul.
The reason given is not moral, it is contagion: so that you do not learn his ways. Nobody decides to become more irritable — they only notice once they already are.
Read the chapterHe who ignores a loss for the sake of a friend is just. But the way of the impious will deceive them.
In this translation the proverb is about cost: the just person is the one who swallows a loss for a friend’s sake. It is the least sentimental definition of friendship on the list, and the easiest to verify.
Read the chapterWithdraw your feet from the house of your neighbor, lest, when he has had his fill, he may hate you.
The most practical and least quoted proverb here: do not overdo your presence. The Bible talking about boundaries long before the word became fashionable.
Read the chapter1And it happened that, when he had completed speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan adhered to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him like his own soul.
2And Saul took him that day, and would not permit him to return to his father’s house.
3Then David and Jonathan formed a pact. For he loved him like his own soul.
Jonathan was heir to the throne, and David was the young man who would take it. The pact is made by the one with everything to lose — the opposite of how friendships usually form.
Read the chapterAnd Jonathan, the son of Saul, rose up and went to David in the woods, and he strengthened his hands in God. And he said to him:
One verse, one action: he went out to the woods and strengthened his friend’s hands in God. He did not make the danger go away. The verse even breaks off as he begins to speak, which is fitting — the going there was most of it.
Read the chapter11And so, three friends of Job, hearing about all the evil that had befallen him, arrived, each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Themanite, and Baldad the Suhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had agreed to come together to visit and console him.
12And when they had raised up their eyes from a distance, they did not recognize him, and, crying out, they wept, and, tearing their garments, they scattered dust over their heads into the sky.
13And they sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his sorrow was very great.
Job’s friends became famous for what they said later. Here, on arrival, they get it right: they agreed to come, they wept, they sat on the ground for seven days without a word. The mistake began when they started explaining.
Read the chapter18And behold, some men were carrying in the bed of a man who was paralyzed. And they sought a way to bring him in, and to place him before him.
19And not finding a way by which they might bring him in, because of the crowd, they climbed up to the roof, and they let him down through the roof tiles with his bed, into their midst, in front of Jesus.
20And when he saw his faith, he said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.”
Men carrying a paralysed friend take somebody else’s roof apart to put him in front of Jesus. They do not say a single word in the whole scene. What the text records of them is what they did with their hands.
Read the chapter13No one has a greater love than this: that he lay down his life for his friends.
14You are my friends, if you do what I instruct you.
15I will no longer call you servants, for the servant does not know what his Lord is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything whatsoever that I have heard from my Father, I have made known to you.
Jesus swaps the word servants for friends and gives the criterion: a friend is somebody who knows what is going on. Friendship, here, is defined by access to information, not by affection.
Read the chapterRejoice with those who are rejoicing. Weep with those who are weeping.
Of the two orders, the first is the harder one. Weeping with those who weep costs time; rejoicing with those who rejoice costs vanity.
Read the chapter9For Demas has abandoned me, out of love for this age, and he has departed for Thessalonica.
10Crescens has gone to Galatia; Titus to Dalmatia.
11Luke alone is with me. Take Mark and bring him with you; for he is useful to me in the ministry.
Paul in prison, listing the people who left and ending on the line that only Luke is still with him. This is the text for anyone who found out, during a bad stretch, how many friends they actually had.
Read the chapter
Frequently asked questions
What does the Bible say about friendship?
It measures friendship by constancy and candour. Proverbs 17:17 speaks of the friend who loves at all times, Proverbs 27:6 calls the wounds made by a friend better than the kisses of an enemy, and Proverbs 11:13 uses as its test what a person does with what was told them in confidence.
What is the strongest example of friendship in the Bible?
David and Jonathan. Jonathan was King Saul’s son and stood to lose the throne to David, and even so he made a pact with him (1 Samuel 18:1-3) and went out to the woods where David was hiding in order to strengthen him (1 Samuel 23:16). It is friendship against self-interest.
How do I help a friend who is suffering?
Job 2:11-13 shows the method before any words: the friends came, they wept, and they sat beside him for seven days in silence. Romans 12:15 sums it up in two orders — rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Presence is usually worth more than explanation.
Does the Bible speak about walking away from certain friendships?
It speaks in terms of influence. Proverbs 22:24-25 advises against befriending an angry man, with an explicit reason: so that you do not learn his ways. Proverbs 26:20 points at the gossip as the fuel that keeps a quarrel burning — take it away and the fire goes out.
A prayer to take with you
Lord, thank you for the people who stayed when there was no reason to stay. Make me that kind of friend: the one who turns up, who listens without interrupting, and who keeps what was entrusted to him. And remind me today of somebody who needs a call from me. Amen.